There had been talks of fires possibly happening. Rumors of rains not coming to the lands anytime soon. All of that was on Kori's mind still as he ventured to his favorite tree with his buddy Chestnut.
And the little kitty could tell something was on the others mind. So, perhaps, it was time for a distraction. Even if the question, erm, felt a little heavy.
"Ya know, I do not think I know much about your life before we met. You've mentioned family before - A family you don't even know. So uh. Is it okay for me to ask about that?"
Silence followed the question. A silence that lingered for a good moment or so as Kori seemingly stared at the tree he so loved to visit with an expression that can only be described as blank. Maybe even thoughtful. This topic had been locked deep within his heart for many reasons. Though most of it felt like it had been forgotten as if blocked out to protect him. Was any of his info correct? Or was it incorrect due to memory gaps and false fabrications of what he believes to be?
Kori had failed to noticed the hoof gently digging at the dirt beneath him while he was lost in thought. Such a thing he had never fully opened up about to anyone. Ever. Yet how long had he been walking these lands? That count had been lost long ago too - However long ago that time frame was. His life had been dull and plain. Lonely too up until he met Chestnut followed by Orion. Of course he hoped to meet more friends. He hoped to one day fall in love. Have a more put together family than what he had now.
Now he gave a sigh, now realizing the digging he had been doing.
"I know I had parents. Maybe even siblings. But do I personally know any of them? No, I do not. Not their names, not their faces. And if I ever had, then it has been long forgotten much like most of my life growing up. I am not even sure if my memories serve me correctly. I THINK I emerged from my basket all alone. No one else around me. No one to care for me, to help teach me. But again I could be wrong about that and it upsets me. I recall being sad. Lost. Alone. Small, afraid, alone - Trying to learn and survive."
But once more - Were these memories even correct? Or were they fabricated to bring him some sort of comfort. Some semblance of 'I DO have a past to share haha !' But was this even truly a past?
"How did you end up so calm and collected, though? I suppose that temper of yours I have seen, though..."
"A product of my confusion, I suppose." Kori admits with a sigh.
"It took a lot to not snap at you with anger after that question in all honesty. I wanted to scream, to shout. To completely ignore it. But I suppose it is about time I talk to someone about it. Nonetheless - One day I suppose when I was older, just shy of being a full adult, I made a decision. I was going to try to be a good horse. One who could grow up and be appealing to others in hopes of making friends. Finding love. I sought out the ability to be calm. Collected. I found this tree and it was comfort for me. I found solace in this tree for some reason. I think it taught me to be calm and collected. Rooted." Kori chuckled at that little joke, as did Chestnut.
A nice, small laugh among such a heavy topic. That was for sure.
"I decided I was not going to let my loneliness eat me alive like it had been. I wished for a happy life. I sought one out. Though deep within, I always felt this anger. this explosion always waiting to happen as you have witnessed. Somehow you help that anger."
"I help you feel less lonely. That is just my guess though. But I do give you someone to talk to, to venture with. I think loneliness made you angry."
Kori seemed to mull that thought over. Did his loneliness make him temperamental? Easy to tick off? Loneliness was one hell of a monster to deal with after all, huh?
"That makes too much sense, you know. You're a wise little kitty haha."
"Thank you ~" Proud puff of her chest.
"So really I think my biggest turning point was meeting you, Chestnut. Or was it when I found this tree. You know what if I emerged from my basket next to this tree but I just do not recall it? What if I emerged around parents and siblings? Will I ever know? I may never know. But after this talk I'm starting to wonder if I even NEED to know. I always thought ' I wish to know. I need to know'. But all that has ever done is make me a sad, sad, stallion. Longing over a family I never knew. Wishing I knew what to say about my parents and my siblings. Especially when I hear others speak of such things. I had always wished to fit in." Now he gave a sad sigh along with a shake of his head.
"So many questions. So many things I wish to know about my family. I wish to know if my memories are correct or wrong. Bu wondering all of those things makes me sad. Angry. Lost. Less and less I think of it all, but more and more I still wish to know."
"Maybe... Maybe focus more on you. More on our friendship. You WILL make more friends. You WILL fall in love. I may even fall in love someday, you know? You have me an Orion for friends so far, correct? You will meet more ! More, more more more more ! So many more ! I promise. I know it."
At the confident enthusiasm, Kori found himself chuckling and laughing. He needed this confidence. This little pep talk.
"You know what? You are right. We will find more friends. More adventures. More fun times. More... Everything. Love, we will both find it. Have families of our own. We will watch said families grow and flourish. Move along to have their own families for generations upon generations." What a happy smile upon his muzzle now ! And how refreshing it had felt to actually talk to someone about all of this. Especially someone he trusted so much.
The little familiar felt proud that the initially heavy topic had seemingly helped Kori get his mind off of one heavy thing. Not only that it seemed to have helped the stallion grow even if it was just a little bit. All growth was good growth no matter how big or small after all!
"Hey, Kori?"
"Yes, Chestnut?"
"I am proud of you. For sharing this. For making it this far. For growing and changing. For everything. Thank you for sharing this with me. Truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart." A little purr and loving headbutt to the stallion's leg in a show of affection and appreciation!
Such words caused the stallion to tear up a bit. Someone was proud of him? Someone was thankful for him sharing such tales?
"H-hey !" A sniffle and he leans down to wipe those tears off on Chestnut.
"Do not make me cry now ! I will use you as a towel!"
The both of them laughed with bemusement!
Both of them could not feel more blessed to have the other as a close, dear, friend.
Word Count: 1, 289
